


Off to San Francisco

by Moo_Quack_Adoo



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 16:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15174494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moo_Quack_Adoo/pseuds/Moo_Quack_Adoo
Summary: After the epidemic hits south park. They try to eliminate patient Zero. But when that fails the two then take a hard at finding a safe haven at San Francisco.





	Off to San Francisco

We were out in town when the epidemic broke out. The cold mountain air mixed with my sweat as I ran for my life. The smell of blood and decay tainting the fresh mountain air; the screams and panicked footsteps breaking the tranquillity. 

Though I can’t say this wasn’t some what normal for south park.  
I’d seen enough movies and played enough games about this kind of thing to know the jist of it. If I was bitten I was dead. If I was loud they’d come to me. If I bust there skulls I’ll kill them for good. If we exclude patient zero we can null the virus.  
Though that was the issue. Kenny was patient zero. And even though he’s technically not Kenny anymore-could I still bring myself to kill him? No. Definitely not. 

I let my feet carry me faster and I make my way threw the crowd. Shit. Shit. Shit. I can’t be the only one. I can’t be. I pulled out my phone as I ran inside my house and headed up to my room. The house was empty. fuck. I pulled out my mobile as I leaned again the back of the door. Hitting speed dial and holding my breath as it rang out. I could feel the cold sweet pour down my neck and face as I waited. Please pick up. Please. Please. 

On the last ring it picked up.  
“hello?”  
Although it came out semi breathless, if still felt out of place. Normal. As if it was a casual phone call on a picket fence kind of day.  
“Where are you?” I demanded.  
“I’ll come to you” was Kyle’s response. And it made worry build up in the bottom of my stomach. “My room”  
“Give me ten” and he hung up.  
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and slid down to the floor. Placing my hand over my heart as it pounded loudly in my chest. Kyle was okay. I’m not alone. 

Kyle didn’t take ten minutes. He took the majority of an hour. I hadn’t called him again so his ring town didn’t attract unwanted attention. Or so I told myself, I was scared to know what was happening in truth. By the time I heard the light tapping on my front door I think my heart was going to pop with worry any second later. 

We locked the doors and took residence upstairs in my room. Staying as quite as possible waiting for the world to calm out.  
“If we kill patient zero they'll go away” Kyle mumbled to me as he lay on the floor staring at the roof. We were both bored out of our minds. But it was better than being dead. Though our food supply was running low. 

“Wed have to find patient zero” he added. And we fell back in silence for a few more moments.  
“It’s Kenny” i hated the words as soon as they left my mouth. He bolted upright and turned to face me. “Are you sure?” my head was spinning. “How do you know?” He pushed.  
I have a sad smile as i shook his my and repeated “its Kenny”  
So he clearly didn’t want to talk about it. 

****  
We found Kenny about a week and a bit later. I was starting to loose track of time now. Phones had stopped working a few days back a long with radio signals and everything of that nature. Electricity was limited making food and survival all the more complicated. Atrue Apocalyptic world. It was in the grave yard which felt.....deja vous for some reason. I felt a twinge in my chest as I saw Kyle, grimy and breathless, put a bullet in his skull.  
Rest in peace Kenny. 

Kyle turned to face me and there was an unspoken agreement. It was over now. Just a few minutes and everything will go back to normal. It always did.  
But that didn’t happen. The words came out before I knew what I was saying “kyle move!” 

He spun around and came face to face with Kenny. Still a zombie. Kyle moved the gun back to use it as a hammer. Taking a step back in panic. But it was to late. And Kenny bit into his arm. I ran over and waked his head in with a my wooden sword, gabbed Kyle by the arm and lead him away. 

When we got back to mine Kyle was crying. I’d only ever seen him have a full emotional breakdown a hand full of times in my life, including when we were children. And it made unease squirm in my stomach. He was sat on the kitchen counter as I cleaned the wound and rapped a bandage over it tightly.  
“It’s alright dude your gonna be okay” I reassured him. But we both knew it was a lie. 

And for some reason Kenny wouldn’t die.  
I stayed up that night and watched him sleep. The events playing out in my head again and again, keeping me from sleep. 

***  
So Kenny’s teeth only made a bite mark into Kyle’s arm. He didn’t take a chunk of flesh or whatever so thankfully that meant that the virus would speed slower, buying us more time. We never talked about it together, like it never happened. I didn’t want to upset him or freak him out. And honestly I didn’t want to think about the inevitable anyway. He’s all I have at the moment. Apparently there was a safe haven for survivors at San Francisco. So that’s where we were heading. All traces of our past life behind us. 

“Why are you pulling up?” Kyle asked confused. We’d been none stop driving for around two days.  
“Chill dude I want to try something” and I got out the car and closed the door behind me. Walking away. Just because we didn’t talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.  
“Stan!” he called “come back. Stan! Stan!” Voice getting progressively louder as I walked away. 

I came back with my shirt wrapped up in my hands, walking over to the passenger side of the car instead of getting in myself, Kyle rolled down the window.  
“what’s in that?” he asked. He sounded sceptical.  
“Eat it”  
He looked at me uneasy before he unwrapped my shirt. A chunk of raw meat my hand, still oozing blood. I swallowed down the bile I could feel rise in my throat.

“what the fuck dude!” he called leaning back. “is that-“  
“yeah” I cut him off. I don’t want to hear him say it.  
“Im not eating that” he declared, clearly unsettled. “What the fuck is wrong with you” pushing my hand away.  
“Nothing. I saw it in a film once” I tried to sound calm, as if asking your friend to eat a chunk of flesh was normal. But honestly I could feel my stomach turn and the thought, but I kept it out of my voice. “Look Kyle, I saw it in a movie once.” I added and he turned his gaze from my hands to me. “it should slow it down if you. Well. You know” I let my sentence trail off not wanting to say it out loud.

“Oh so because it was in a movie” he snapped. But I have him a pleading smile, causing Kyle to give it another quizzical look and said “No dude that’s beyond gross”  
“Come on dude” and he looked back up at me again, uneasy written all over his face “please. For me” I’ve never seen so much dread written in Kyle’s face before he looked at it again. All colour seemed to drain from it.  
“I don’t want to be a cannibal” he mumbled out, the words being stuck in his throat.  
“Look I” and my words trailed off “i won’t look, okay. It. I’ll never talk about it again, it’ll just be between us”  
“do i have to?”  
“It mean the world to me”

He looked like he was about to say something else. Ask me something. But then he stopped himself and swallowed down the words. He squeezed his eyes shoot and turned his head away, before reaching out and grabbing it. Once he took it I tied my blood soaked shirt around my waste. Which I know sounds gross but it was already filthy anyway and I might need it for warmth or a make shift bandage later so it made sense to keep it. 

I walked around the other side of the car and leaned against it for awhile. Giving Kyle all the time he needed to ....well you know.  
He knocked on the roof of the car twice to signal I could get back in now. And I did. Wordlessly sliding into my seat and continuing on route. I felt guilty for asking him to do it. And as promised I never said a thing. 

“Never ask me to do that again” he remarked grimly, I just nodded my understanding. And as promised we never mentioned it again.  
But I did steal a side ways glance. His fingers were thick with blood, covering the grin that was previous stuck under his nails. And I could see it whipped on his sleeve from where he wiped his face clean. Some dripped down the front of his shirt.  
I hoped it would work.

***  
Although I never asked him to eat 'meat' again. We decided that drinking blood (though equally as gross) was a subtitle way to slow the process. Since Kyle stopped feeling weaker every day since he ate it. It seemed to put a hold to the process. The drink version just slowed it down considerably. And if that’s how he preferred it then that’s how we'd do it. Though it was often mine he was drinking. Well it’s wasn’t exactly drinking, drinking implies it’s a lot.

We had lit a campfire in the field and I was roasting a rat I had caught earlier over it. Who wants to starve to death? The warmth was welcome in the cold night air.  
“I’m sorry dude” he said uneasily as I used a knife to slice my finger “I could just do that again”

“it’s fine” I added, trying to calm him down and hoping he couldn’t hear my heart banging in my chest with nerves. “Just. No biting okay” my brow creased with worry.

I could feel the weight of my words hang in the air as he nodded sadly and I gave my hand up to him, looking in the opposite direction. This wasn’t how I imagined being 19 by a long stretch. I let my thoughts wonder as I watched the fire dance in the wind. Just sitting there I could feel my exhaustion build up on me, eyes begging to close. I could feel my stomach churn, begging to be filled and I kicked my lips to try and push down the thought of water. Life was getting tough but we were almost there. And that gave me a different sinking feeling in my stomach. Because if this safe haven was really real. Then Kyle wouldn’t be able to go. And that brought so many questions and worries and possibilities than I wanted to think about. 

“Dude you okay?” I was pulled back into reality by Kyle’s voice “dude? You okay?” I turned to face him with a tired smile “im fucking starving” trying to lighten the mood. A small smile curling my lips.

“Well” and he pulled a flask of water from his bag “it’s a bit warm now but this should tide you over while you cook”

I know in films people break into supermarkets. But such large spaces and fast amounts of corners were to dangerous to chance. Hunting and rationing was a lot safer. We didn’t need to take any more chances. As long as we survived.  
After we’d ate we moved back into the car to sleep. It was safer: if we stayed quite we’d be out of sight and mind. There were plenty of cars scattered around these days. It wasn’t just the zombies, but also survives who’d gone crazy you also had to hide from. 

“I know I said I didn’t want to talk about it. But thanks Stan” Kyle chimed from his sitting position in front seat.  
“mmm” sleep was already starting to claim my senses so words were beyond me.  
“Not a lot of people would put up with me after....well.....and I just- I’m grateful”  
“Its nothing dude. What are friends for?” barely audible.  
He let out one of those airy sighs that you give with a smile “Well it means a lot to me Stan. You mean a lot to me”  
“I love you too Kyle” my words heavy and slurred with sleep as I drifted off. 

***  
We had found an old apartment of someone’s with a functioning door. Once inside (we had to break it in) it was as if time had stood still before the epidemic. Neatly organized and – apart from the now layer of dust – clean. 

I allowed Kyle to have the first wash. Before this happened he was a bit of a clean freak. Everything always spotless. He wouldn’t even swim in a pool because people piss in it. Though that was now hard to imagine since I’m so used to seeing him covered in dirt and blood. 

“Are you sure dude? I mean your actually soaked threw” he pointed out – I was covered in a lot more blood than him.  
“Yeah” I smiled “I’m gonna see what food they have”  
And with that he was gone. I rummaged through, picking out biscuits and crisps that last awhile longer and put them in my backpack. Then I dragged two chairs across to the door to pin it closed. Laying my wooden sword and his golf club on the coffee table. 

I also rummaged out some clothes. Whoever lived here was a lot bigger than me and Kyle. But I pulled out two shirts anyway. I mean who’s going to see us? 

When Kyle came out with his clothes neatly folded and a towel in his hands I felt the nostalgic twinge pull at my stomach. It was like it was before. Normal. Chill. 

“I feel like I’ve been born again” he joked. His now wet curls dripping onto the floor, the vibrant colour returned to them now all the gime was gone.  
And the bandage was off his arm. Faint teeth marks still pressed into his skin. That wasn’t normal for a bit that happened weeks ago, or was it months? and I felt my stomach sink.

“I’m gonna jump in myself”  
Once I got in I welcomed the warm water as it hit my back. And I allowed myself to soak in it. All the blood and dirt from under my nails being washed away. I needed to cut them now I looked. And just being able to take my ripped jeans off was glorious. Never did I think I’d wear something none stop for a month -but there it was. I spent extra time enjoying the luxury as I didn’t know when the opportunity would show itself again. Once I got out I just slipped my underwear back on. Allowing myself to breath and I moved into the living room. Kyle was sat on the settee. Reading a book he must have dug out. And I allowed myself to think about if we stayed like this. Just the two of us in this apartment forever.  
A mear fantasy.

After we spent the evening talking about events in high school or who we think the owner off this apartment might be. We decided to head to bed. 

“Come on dude it’s a double bed. It’s not like I’m your Grandma”  
“No I’ll just crash in the Seette”  
“Dont be silly dude we haven’t slept on a bed since we left my place” I grabbed his wrist and lead him in as he protested.  
“Don’t be gay Stan” was his only remark. He must be running low on defences.  
“Nothings gay about sleeping Kyle. Unless your fessing up about your dreams” I quiped.  
“Oh please your the gayest person I know”  
And with that I threw him onto the bed. Kyle was wearing a shirt aswell as his boxers. Covering up his now Skinner frame. I look down at him as he lay across the bed laughing, facing up towards me. 

The desire was to great seeing him sourrounded by sheets.  
So I dived into of him.  
A breathless shout of pain escaped him as I landed onto of him  
“Fuck you Dude” he complained  
“Only if you want to” I whipped back causesing him to sit up and tickle me, making me to move to the side to try and escape but become trapped as he moved onto of me “i surrender” I shouted between laughing fits. “please-i-ahaha-stop-i-it’  
When he stopped I lay there breathless as I stared at the white ceiling above us. Feeling dizzy and happy for the first trime in a long while. letting the blissfulness of the night fill me up.  
When I caught my breath I propped myself up on my elbows, ky still sat upright on my lap. And I leaned in and gave him a kiss.

Shit.

I pulled away as I felt the blood rush to my face “i er-i didnt-im sorry I just” I raced out as I tried to get my brain to function into a coherent sentence.  
“It’s okay dude” Kyle smiled. “Just hormones and shit yeah?” it was a rehetorical question and I let it hang on the air. Feeling my stomach twist and my heart sink.  
Despite the little 'incident' I’ll call it, he climbed off me and moved into the bed next to me. Staring up at the ceiling aswell. I allowed my self to lay back down  
“I miss this” I spoke softly. As not to shatter the peace.  
“Same. Sleeping sat up in a car sucks” he joked and I turned to face him.  
“I told you we can rotate on who gets to lie in the back”  
“Nah” he was still looking at the ceiling “i’d rather have the front seat. I can get up in the night if I need to without loads of faffing around.”  
“Your call dude” I added, and then he turned to face me. 

“Fuck marry kill. Wendy, red and Clyde”  
“Fuck you dude” I joked  
“Im not an option” he laughed.  
“I can’t kill Clyde. He’s on my team”  
“Well you’ll have to fuck or Marry him then”  
“Urgh. Kill red. Fuck Wendy and Mary Clyde. I don’t have to sleep with my spouse” I allowed myself to think as I picked my name’s “okay. Clyde. Bebe and Kenny” at the meantion of Kenny’s name there was a moment’s silence. Poor Kenny.  
“I gave you way more chics” he complained.  
“There the options. Get the sand out of your vigina” causing a laugh at Eric’s favourite insult.  
“Okay okay. I’d kill clyde-sorry your widowed. Fuck Bebe and marry kenny. Kenny’s loyal so he’d make a good husband”.  
“He’s a good lay aswell” I added “apparently’  
“Eww I don’t need to know” he added and rolled over so he was facing me properly. I felt my heart sink as I noticed we were both speaking present tense and as far as we knew, everyone we named was dead. 

“What about me?”  
“Excuse me?” Kyle question catching me off guard.  
“Am I a good kisser”  
The flush returned. “I don’t know. You’ve never kissed me” I can’t believe I did that, what is wrong with me? He’s totally going to mock me for life-  
Kyle leaned in, and I let him deepen the kiss.

***  
I knew it was comming. But I refused to think about it. I pushed the thought back every time it threatened to move to the forefront of my mind. Time never makes it easier.

“Please Stan”

We were in an old storage unit for a super market. Kyle was sat on a large box Infront of me in the dark windowless room. We were back to our grimmy and bloody selves. Kyle’s hat going missing long ago but his current clothes were in good shape. Ripped jeans and a tattered shirt we stole from that appartments weeks ago. Or was it months ago. Time melded together. 

“I can’t” I chocked out between tears. I must have looked like a infant that fell over. “I can’t” I repeated.  
Kyle kept his face neautral. But he had a sad look in his eyes. “Look. I don’t want to be one of those zombie film clichés. But I don’t want to be a zombie. And we both know I’m not getting into that haven. And we both know I only got this far because of you.” His eyes were welling up as he tried to hold them back. “Im scared Stan. I haven’t been able to eat food in weeks. I-i just” a sigh “it tastes disgusting and I just ate it b-because I didn’t want you to know” 

This wasn’t real. The world was spinning. The tears wouldn’t stop and the lump in my throat just grew bigger and bigger.  
“We can fix this” I pleaded.

“We are” a sad smile across his face “please?” he was begging.  
I couldn’t respond. Moving my hand over my face as reality hit me like a buss. I could feel his grip on my shoulder and then his arms around me. He’d moved over and pulled me into a hug and I rested my cheek on top of his head. Allowing myself to take everything in. His scent and his warmth. The feel of his hair against my cheek and my hands around his back. He didn’t say anything else. And I didn’t dare say a word. It felt like forever and only a few seconds at the same time. But the embrace ended before I was ready, and when I looked up he gave me a kiss. As we parted he took a few steps back. I wiped my eyes with my palms. 

“I love you” I chocked out.  
“I love you too Stan” a sad smile on his face and a single tear fell.

I shut my eyes a pulled the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> So me and my girlfriend did a cosplay for Apocalypse Style AU! and it was really popular. So I gave a go adding a bit of a story to it. I'm not 100% happy lmao but oh well! It was a fun write!


End file.
